After reading a couple pages of the book Ask Your Guides by Sonia Choquette, the realization set in that I wasn’t just burnt out, but I was actually having a major life crisis and this realization hit me like a ton of bricks. By this point, I had recently hired a spiritual coach, after our first meeting we agreed on some big ticket items that we would work through, but it never occured to me that the place I would find myself in meant I no longer knew who I was.
My stressors over the last couple years had accumulated so I only had been spending most of my time living in the Divine Masculine/Left Brain world concerned with logistical explanations, finances, linear problems, that in that process I managed to completely neglect the Divine Feminine/Right Brain to the point that I was no longer doing anything to foster that part of me.
In the first chapter of Ask Your Guides, Chaquette prompts you to journal on how we would describe ourselves. To do this, you must first spend time alone, undistracted by your phone, television, your work, or family, just with enough time to remove your parts of your ego, thoughts of “I am” or the roles you closely identify with (whether that means you push away the parts of you that you identify with as a mother, daughter, wife, my professional title, woman, heterosexual, spiritual).
What makes you YOU without these roles? What do you find yourself doing when you find joy?
That’s when it hit me, as I sat there alone in my room, I struggled to find anything that I did for myself. It’s so easy to do that when you’re caught up in your career or as a mother, to lose sight of who you are + what your needs are in order to fill your cup.
This is where the term IKIGAI comes in. I never considered what neglecting my purpose meant for my career until I realized I didn’t have one. What I was doing was missing my mission + my passion. I wasn’t using my creativity.
But it didn’t end with my career, when I sat in my room, I struggled to find the adjectives to describe myself, I knew I had a bigger problem at hand. It wasn’t just about not having a Ikigai in my job, but I was missing the bigger purpose in my life.
I was starving my Spirit.
So I thought back to the times I felt fullfilled, happy. What was I doing? What did I enjoy doing as a kid?
Suddenly I was able to write a couple things down:
- Music, listening + singing to my favorite songs
- Dining at fun and delicious restaurants
- Hiking or Being Outside
- Sleeping in
- Clean Sheets
- An Organized Home
- Reading books
- Sunshine & Beach Airs
- Belly Laughs
- Farmers Markets and Botegas
- Sitting at cafes
- Learning different languages
- Dressing up
- Kareoke Nights
Once I saw what I wrote down, I realized I wasn’t accomplishing much from my list. I wasn’t investing in my self. So I decided to invest more in my right brain, to dance more, go outside, hike, listen to music, reading books. But above all, I promised myself I would begin to write again.
Once you find + reclaim your purpose, start by setting up boundaries, prioritizing your life and spending time truly getting to know yourself as you find ways to live a more purposeful life. One that serves others, one that brings you insurmountable joy.
So for today, start with some time alone and list all the parts of you that bring joy. Make a list of things to do for yourself. From there, make time to do more of those things. The rest will unfold when it should, but until then, you’ve just taken your first step to living your best life.
Be sure to check out the next step to living out your purpose here.
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